Samuel Eto’o and greed go together like peas and carrots, so the news that he will be earning $29m a year when he joins fellow mercenaries Roberto Carlos and Yuri Zhirkov at Russian club FC Anzhi Makhachkala is unsurprising.
Here’s five ways the best paid player in the world could spend his rather generous remuneration package…
1. He could buy his own personal Chinook helicopter – with a vast chunk of change to spare. He’s going to need some sort of air transportation, as most of his new teammates live in Moscow “for security reasons” and fly just under 1,000 miles into Makhachkala for home games. Sounds like a nice place.
2. Eto’o could afford approximately 128,888 Blackburn Rovers season tickets (currently the cheapest season pass in the Premier League). That’s enough to sell out Ewood Park four times over. Having visited Blackburn on several occasions, however, I’d say he’s probably better off in the conflict-scarred surrounds of Makhachkala.
3. The former Inter and Barca star could afford to have 209 MLS players in his personal employ (based on last season’s average salary of $138,169). Perhaps they could clean the next vast empty prefab mansion he’s destined to buy, or they could offer post-training footrubs.
4. The striker could buy 690 ridiculous designer watches for teammates, much like he did in a hugely grotesque gesture during the World Cup.
5. He could personally sponsor Arsenal’s shirts for three-and-a-half years, based on the £5m a season Emirates currently shell out. Eto’o’s vacant grin plastered on the chest of every Gooner in North London? That’s something I’d like to see.