Aaron Ramsey’s Celebrity Killing Spree Will Not End

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Written By Carl Mansson
Live for sports and marketing.
aaronramsey

co·in·ci·dence   [koh-in-si-duhns]
noun
1. the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection.

English “newspaper” The Sun is claiming that every time Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey scores a goal, someone famous dies. Let’s look at the facts:

February 11th, 2012: Aaron Ramsey scores against Sunderland
February 12th, 2012: Singer Whitney Houston found dead.

October 19th, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores against Marseille in the Champions League.
October 20th, 2011: Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi killed by rebel forces.

October 2nd, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores in a North London Derby against Tottenham.
October 5th, 2011: Apple founder Steve Jobs succumbs to pancreatic cancer.

May 1st, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores against Manchester United.
May 2nd, 2011: A Navy SEAL team kills Osama Bin Laden.

February 23rd, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores on loan to Cardiff City.
February 26th, 2011: Canadian cult leader Roch Thériault is murdered in prison while serving a sentence for murder.

October 14th, 2009: Aaron Ramsey scores his first international goal against Lichtenstein.
October 15th, 2009: Josias Kumpf, former Nazi prison camp guard, dies at the age of 84 while awaiting extradition.

August 22nd, 2009: Aaron Ramsey scores his first goal for Arsenal.
August 23rd, 2009: Pakistani militant and terrorist leader Baitullah Mehsud dies of injuries sustained in a drone strike.

So what can we take from this? Is Aaron Ramsey a divine tool of vengeance, striking down evil-doers across the globe with some unfortunate collateral damage? Is his power arbitrary, ending the lives of the good as well as the wicked? Is The Sun a terrible rag of a newspaper exploiting pure coincidence to fill inches?

All we know is that if this power is real, it would be far more dramatic if Robin van Persie had it.

 

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