David Beckham Is Selling his Unwanted Junk That You Could Never Afford

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

FOR SALE: The trappings of the life of world famous professional footballer. Includes two homes—one English estate and one French villa—a squadron of high-priced cars—including a Lamborghini, a Range Rover Sport, a top of the line BMW and two Bentleys—and, for the right offer, three Harley-Davidson motorcycles. World-class right foot and dashing good looks not included.

Looking to cut ties with their European life left in the past—David and Posh are Angelenos through and through now—the Beckhams are selling the trappings of their disgustingly wealthy existence.

If you have the cash (and if you do please give me some) all of these Beckham-related items can be yours.
 
‘Beckingham Palace’, the Beckham’s palatial estate that sits on 22 acres in Hertfordshire. The couple purchased the home for £18 million in 1999.
 

 
 
‘Le Domain Saint-Vincent’, a 7-bedroom home in the South of France the Beckhams purchased in 2003 for £1.5 million.
 

 
 
Cars valued at £500,000 in total, including a Lamborghini Gallardo, a BMW 645i, a Range Rover Sport, and two Bentleys.
 

 
KCKRS strongly suggests buying the whole lot, augmenting the purchase with a Beckham-like wardrobe (Beckham underwear available now at H&M), marrying Camilla Shadbolt (the UK’s foremost Victoria Beckham impersonator), and just going all in on pretending you’re David Beckham.

Get the haircuts. Get the tattoos. Give your kids strange names. Drive your Bentley in circles around Beckingham Palace waiting for the paparazzi to show up. Demand that your friends and family call you “Golden Balls.”

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