Eden Hazard Kicked A Ball Boy And The World Lost Its Mind

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

During the League Cup semifinal at Liberty Stadium in Swansea, a frustrated Eden Hazard decided that the best way to extricate a time-wasting ball boy from the ball was to kick the 17-year old in the ribs. He was subsequently red carded. Naturally, the football world lost its mind over the incident, and because it’s the United Kingdom and they have some interesting laws, the police got involved.

The relevant facts of the incident, which you can see in the video above:

1. The ball boy is definitely trying to waste time, with Swansea up 2-0 on aggregate and 10 minutes from a trip to Wembley.
2. Eden Hazard is an idiot for kicking the ball boy.
3. The ball boy is Charlie Morgan, the son of club director Martin Morgan, and was on Twitter before the game bragging about his time wasting intentions in what was apparently a stand-in, final engagement.

4. Eden Hazard is an idiot for kicking the ball boy.
5. Cheslea’s official twitter account is an idiot for this tweet (since deleted and for which an apology was later tweeted).

6. Eden Hazard is an idiot for kicking the ball boy.

In the aftermath of the incident, after everyone had calmed their ragged nerves, the ball boy and Hazard apologized to each other. Hazard made further apology via Chelsea TV, though it was an apology with a caveat. Because personal responsibility is for punks.

He said: “The boy put his whole body onto the ball and I was just trying to kick the ball and I think I kicked the ball and not the boy. I apologise.

“The ball boy came in the changing room and we had a quick chat and I apologised and the boy apologised as well, and it is over. Sorry.”

Because it’s the United Kingdom, and because some extremely nosy people were watching, police received complaints, prompting a mandatory “investigation.” This is the same bit of law that led to a criminal inquiry into John Terry purported racial abuse of Anton Ferdinand.

Luckily, common sense prevailed, and the police quickly put the criminal issue to bed after interviewing everyone involved.

But a Swansea spokesman confirmed no further action would be taken by the 17-year-old over the incident, and revealed he had spoken to Hazard in the Chelsea dressing room.

“The police have interviewed the boy and his father and there are no charges going to be pressed, as far as they are concerned that is the matter closed,” he said.

Not that the insanity ended there, of course. During his post-match press conference, Rafa Benitez got prickly when it was suggested he was attempting to condone Hazard’s action by announcing that the club would deal with the matter internally (perhaps an end run around likely FA involvement).

“I do not know what you expect from me,” he said. “Do you think we are not disappointed with the situation, that we do not regret what happened? Do you think they have not apologised? They have done it so what can we do now? Do you want to change things? We cannot.

“The player spoke to the boy and he said sorry because it was a mistake. We know it was a mistake but we talked with the player and the boy so what do you expect?

“The boy was with us in the dressing room and everybody was clear and we know there was a mistake.”

The word has “boy” has appeared 15 times in this post to this point. But is it the right word, considering that Charlie Morgan is 17? And since he’s 17, does he deserve any sympathy at all? It seems the world decided “no.” Respected journalists, losing their freaking minds.

Remember, Charlie Morgan was apparently filling in for a (presumably younger) ball boy.

Let’s give the last word to Rafa, who has a theory on this whole thing. It’s George Orwell’s fault.

Wait. He probably means the TV show. And here I thought we were getting a bit of culture with our football.

Further items of insanity: As of this writing, @CHARLIEM0RGAN, the Twitter account of the 17-year old silver spoon ball boy who wasted time and got kicked (gently, and he was wearing a big puffy coat) in the ribs by an annoyed Eden Hazard, has 86,792 followers.

Oh, did I mention Swansea are in the League Cup final? That happened, too.

Sources: The Telegraph and The Telegraph

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