Fulham Bought Chickens Because They’re Spending A Fortune on Eggs, Everyone Went Pun-Mad

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

Problem: Due to the demands of feeding a gaggle of hungry footballers, your club’s egg budget is out of control. Solution? If you’re Fulham, it’s to buy a dozen chickens and get the eggs straight from the source.

The hens will reside at Fulham’s training ground and hopefully knock as much as £5,000 off the club’s egg expenditures. This is interesting news of a Premier League football club suddenly deciding to go into the farming business. For British news outlets, it’s also an excuse to pull out the pun gun and have a go. Ugh no and stop.

The Daily Mail (natch) was the worst offender:

This isn’t a yoke or a poultry effort but a real coop as the club attempts to save £5,000 a year on catering.

Gag.

Someone suspected fowl play but at least we now know what is eggs-scelerating top-scorer Clint Dempsey’s accuracy in front of goal this season.

Blech.

The club’s hierarchy has shelled out on organic, free range hens because they’re convinced it’s an eggs-cellent idea.

Boo.

And Metro couldn’t let it go by without some raw punnage of their own.

While some football fans will no doubt think this idea is a bit of a yolk, it could provide some eggs-cellent savings for the team in these financially turbulent times.

Hiss.

There has certainly been no fowl play for Fulham this season, who have had just four Premier League defeats at home, indicating their excessive egg consumption is no poultry effort.

Die. Just die.

And Eurosport!

The Sun reports that the Cottagers’ transfer coop came about thanks to a cracking idea from one of the egg-heads in the club’s catering department.

#$&*@(!~

Club chiefs were getting in a flap about the cost of feeding the players, so they hatched a plan to keep hens at their New Malden training ground rather than shell out on eggscessively expensive poultry products.

ARGH.

Really? Is there a pun quota in England that I don’t know about?

Those results have seen them fly up to perch at ninth in the table – but perhaps more importantly they are clearly laying the foundations for a sizzling season next term.

Now I want to die.

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