Here’s 6 Other Things That Are Also “The Anelka Effect”

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

We read a story this morning about Nicholas Anelka’s expected impact on Chinese football. Nothing too out of the ordinary, we see at least a dozen of these every time an MLS team signs a DP, and about 800 every time David Beckham so much as sneezes. No, what piqued our interest was the usage of the phrase “The Anelka Effect.”

It got us thinking what exactly qualified as being symptoms of said effect.

  1. China renames their currency from the “yuan” to the “sulk.”
  2. Due to Anelka’s popularity, people show up for matches, but because of his influence, at halftime they all get ejected for foul language.
  3. People all over the country tell their bosses to f&*# off, thereby sabotaging their company’s biggest project in years.
  4. The “bald and bearded” hairstyle takes China with a swiftness and ferocity not seen since the Mongols.
  5. Tens of thousands of people show up to games, but they spend the whole match chanting Drogba’s name. (Anelka Sulks)
  6. Anelka’s arrival prompts China’s biggest sport network to promote soccer heavily; ratings are so good, they don’t even mind that their dedicated Anelka Cam just shows him standing in one place for an hour.

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