Jermain Defoe Is Pretty Gross

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

There are plenty of untrue stereotypes about footballers. They’re not all stupid, neanderthal-like womanizers with too much money. There are however, reasons why that perception persists. Reasons like Jermain Defoe.

The Tottenham Hotspur striker recently did an interview with lad mag FHM, which was then relayed in the Daily Mail, where he likened eating sweets to dealing with women.

Treat a Double Dip like you’d treat a woman. You’ve got to take your time. Nice and easy. Put the work in, you can’t rush it.

And because a terrible metaphor left un-extended is a terrible metaphor wasted, Defoe continued his slightly gross appreciation of sweets.

You’ve got to proper dip your tongue into it. Know what I mean?

I ate so much Haribo growing up I’m surprised I’ve got any teeth left. I’ve got a few gold caps but now I look after my teeth. I have to brush them three times a day.

I’m like Willy Wonka. You should see the queue outside my house at Halloween. The original Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory is my absolute favourite film. I’ve seen it, like, 30 times.

After the first part, that sounded really gross to me.

Full Story: The Mail

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