…or, “Here’s a thing that will make you want to drink poison today.” Although really, everyone involved deserves each other so the rest of us can just stand back and laugh. Here’s the background: With Justin Bieber set to play a series of shows in London, Joey Barton politely expressed his disdain for Bieber’s music and look. After Bieber made some concert-goers wait two hours before starting his 02 Arena performance last night, Joey, being Joey, decided to trash the Canadian pop star from his Twitter pulpit. You probably know what happened next.
35 million?!? What the fucking, fuck! He looks little a shaved little bird with earrings. This is a truly fucked up world, if he’s ‘cool’
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 3, 2013
The opening salvo.
I’d rather flush my head down the toilet daily than be a ‘Belieber’. He’s a smack addiction waiting to happen. #macaulaycaulkinstyle
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 3, 2013
Hey, you leave Macaulay Culkin alone. It’s not his fault his parents were assholes.
At this point, the Beliebers mobilized, like locusts to a particularly rancid piece of meat, because that’s what they do when the reputation of their beloved Justin is threatened by some random douchebag on Twitter.
Sick I mentioned the gizzard, that is Bieber. All the mutants that adore him are giving me all sorts of abuse here. Fuck off. I don’t care!
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 3, 2013
If your over the age of 14 and are male and listen to Justin Bieber, then you my friend are on a slippery slope. #futureweirdo
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 3, 2013
At this point, the London concert fiasco, which had scores of teenagers bawling their eyes out at the 02 Arena, gave Joey renewed reason to have a go at the Bieber Army.
Told you all two days ago Bieber was a C U Next Tuesday, his two hour delay only confirms this…
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013
Joey Barton. No problem writing “fuck off” to his 2 million followers, but feels the need to used “C U Next Tuesday.” Odd.
A snippet of my timeline, currently infested with BieberZombie’s… twitter.com/Joey7Barton/st…
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013
See? Locusts. Rancid meat.
I can understand girls under the age of 14 going and maybe some young lads a little bit light on the old loafers. But anyone over 18? No!
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013
Anyone who waited for 2 hours for that ‘Berk’ last night, over the age of 18, wants their f*cking heads testing pronto…
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013
I’ll admit it, I had to look up “berk.” Well then.
And then this, which seems just a tad bit over the line. Although Joey is quoting, so maybe he’s just passing along words of wisdom from one of his truly insightful followers.
“Do you want to go to see Justin Bieber live? — I’d rather go see Justin Bieber dead.â€
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013
At this point, I feel like we’re mere hours from learning that Joseph “Joey” Barton, English footballer formerly of Manchester City, Newcastle, QPR, and most recently Marseille, was found duct taped to a post in a French field, his mouth gagged, with headphones taped to his head blaring Justin Bieber’s seminal album “Believe” into Barton’s ears at full volume on a loop.
But hey Joey, you really got those Beliebers, man. Took them down a peg with your biting criticism. He looks like a bird! Where most of us will avoid anything Bieber-related on Twitter for fear of being overwhelmed by the sycophantic tribe of Beliebers, you took them head on and came out the other side…well, mostly still looking like an ass. But hey, at least you gained a shit load of new followers.
Canny Twitterer, that Joey Barton. Canny.