MLS Is Back And Frencher Than Ever

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

After the long, national nightmare of only having foreign club soccer and US National Team matches to distract us from the MLS offseason, America’s very own league is finally back for its 17th season. And it’s speaking with a slightly condescending tone in a foreign accent. While wearing a beret, eating cheese and hard bread and surrendering to the Germans. Because there were French things happening this weekend, you see.

In the season’s opening game (an honor shared with the concurrent Colorado-Columbus game), Quebecois club Montreal Impact traveled to British Columbia to take on the Vancouver Whitecaps in a Canuckistan clash. It was a trio of French-speakers who combined for the opening goal of the season just four minutes in. Vancouver’s Quebecois/Swiss defender Alain Rochat played a ball to Eric Hassli, whose excellent header found new signing Sebastien Le Toux, who surprised absolutely no one at all by burying it.

The French Connection (Yes, we’re going to call it “The French Connection,” because that reference is too good to just pass up) were involved in Vancouver’s second as well, Hassi’s dummying of a Le Toux pass in the buildup leading to a finish by Camilo Sanvezzo. A Rochat shot went off the post later in the game.

In other “French people playing in MLS” news, Thierry Henry really hates losing:

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