Of all the teams North Korea really really really didn’t want to lose to in the Women’s World Cup, the capitalist pig-dogs of the USA were probably at the top of the list.
Unfortunately for the soccer-playing ladies of the DPRK, they lost to the Americans. But their coach has a read-made excuse he hopes will keep them out of the forced labor camps: Lightning. Said North Korea coach Kwang Min Kim:
“When we stayed in Pyongyang during training our players were hit by lightning, and more than five of them were hospitalized.”
“Some stayed in hospital and then came to Germany later than the rest of us. The goalkeeper and the four defenders were most affected, and some midfielders as well. The physicians said the players were not capable of participating in the tournament.
“But World Cup football is the most important and significant event for a footballer, so they don’t want to think about anything but football.
“The fact that they played could be called abnormal, the result of very strong will.”
There you have it. The loss wasn’t because the US have a pissed off, angry squad featuring some of the best players in the world and North Korea have some very inexperienced players, it was because of the lightning strikes. Also, they really don’t want to go to a death camp. Really.