QWK KCKS: All Of Your Hopes Are Dashed

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: MAN, IT MUST KILL NANDO TO HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE HAPPY.
Roberto Di Matteo is one happy guy after Chelsea beat Napoli. Edinson Cavani is not. (GETTY IMAGES)

IF MY HOPES WERE ANY HIGHER, THEY’D BE SATELLITES.
What’s this? Plans for a D.C. United stadium at Buzzard Point? OHMYGOOHMYGODOHMYGOD. Oh. They’re from 2010 and nothing has happened with them. Never mind. // Soccer Insider

 

EVERY MOVE, PEOPLE. THERE ARE CAMERAS ON YOUR EVERY MOVE.
Oh my gosh, Didier just took a shot to the face. I hope he’s okay…nice telltale peek, Didier. Faker. // Off the Post

 

BOB ABROAD.
While anti-Americanism is on the rise in Egypt, one Yank is gaining respect and fostering hope as head coach of the national team. Audio story. // NPR

 

PHOTO: SPOT THE DIVA.
Man City training photos are like a “Who’s who” of troubled players. (GETTY IMAGES)

 

I’M PRETTY SURE BROOKS IS CLAIRVOYANT AT THIS POINT. THIS NEWS WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN.
Today in future news, Roberto Di Matteo says that thing about Chelsea that everyone knows. Nod along. // Dirty Tackle

 

THEY’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH ROAD TO GET UP TO 88 GOALS PER FIVE MINUTES.
Roads? Where Real Madrid’s going, they don’t need roads. Video of every goal Real Madrid has scored this season packed into five minutes. // 101GG

 

TIME FOR A ‘HATE ON KBP’ BREAK.
I know you’ll find this shocking, but Kevin-Prince Boateng’s WAG is on the cover of the Italian Playboy. // Kickette
 

PHOTO: DO THEY NOT HAVE SHAME IN NAPLES?
Napoli fans are…not svelte. (GETTY IMAGES)

 

THE GREAT NARRATOR IS KIND OF A BASTARD. FUNNY THOUGH.
How the FA washed its hands of England’s national game. // SB Nation

 

ALL ABOUT ANZHI.
The story behind the rise and riches of Anzhi Makhachkala, based in Russia’s most dangerous region. // Bleacher Report

 

THE SCARF WITH NO SHIRT LOOK IS TOTALLY IN THIS SPRING.
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