QWK KCKS: Beware the Giant Puppets

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: THE AMERICAN OWNERS AREN’T MESSING AROUND. THIS IS WHO THEY SENT FOR COMOLLI.

There are Titanic anniversary things happening in Liverpool. These things involve French theatre companies walking giant marionettes through the streets. I will now have nightmares. (GETTY IMAGES)

 

IF ONLY YOUR MONTH COULD BE HALF AS HILARIOUS. NEEDS MORE JAPAN.

Megan Rapinoe had a hilarious month. There was a Japanese game show involved, hence most of the hilarity. // ESPNW

 

I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOUR FRIDAY WOULD BE SO POSH.

The inimitable Danny Last took his camera to Peterborough v. Brighton and we get to see the photos. Lovely. // IBWM

 

WHENEVER POSSIBLE, THROW THE WORD ‘SEX’ INTO YOUR HEADLINE AND WATCH THE CLICKS ROLL IN.

Some people did a study on the hormone levels of soccer fans, which Fox Sports then tried to sell as a proving that “watching soccer is like sex”, which is mostly crap. Deadspin explains. // Deadspin

 

PHOTO: AS GRAFFITI GOES, THIS IS HIGH QUALITY ART. PASSION IN PAINT.

A graffiti depiction of Ronaldinho Gaucho looks over the Vilo Autodroma slum in Rio. According to the Comite Popular da Copa e Olimpiadas do Rio de Janeiro, more than 7,000 families will be displaced due to the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Summer Olympics. (REUTERS)

 

IN THAT TIME, YOU COULD SAY ‘IT’S A F*ING DISGRACE’ 145 TIMES. AT LEAST.

Someone tallied up all of the time Didier Drogba spent “injured” against Barcelona. It is not an insignificant amount of time. Not insignificant at all. // Off the Post

 

HOLLAND HAS THE BEST COLORS. AND TULIPS. AND CLOGS.

Holland anthem jacket from Umbro is so, so, pretty. I would like to have one. // NTMG.

 

UNDERGROUND MUSEUM, OR LAIR WHEREIN A GIANT SPACE LASER WILL BE ERECTED?

Possibly one of the most fun things ever is coming up with likely exhibits in FIFA’s planned underground museum. This is pretty much Brooks’s raison d’être. // Dirty Tackle

 

PHOTOS: THE MANY FACES OF NEYMAR DA SILVA SANTOS JÚNIOR.

Photo spectacular! Here are various photos of young Neymar from Santos’ Copa Lib match against The Strongest. Chuffed Neymar, hurt Neymar, kissy Neymar, and daddy Neymar. (REUTERS)

 

THIS IS…WAIT, WHAT…I CAN’T…BRAIN…MELTING. ABS ON ABS?

An Italian Serie B team wore special edition derby shirts that features a statuesque male torso. Yeah, me neither. // Kickette

 

IF IT CAN BE RANKED, THE INTERNET WILL RANK IT. MANAGERS = EASY TARGETS.

Ranking the best and worst of Premier League managers in 2011-12. Boiled down, this should go SAF–18 others–Alex McLeish. Yeah, some personal bias there. // Bleacher Report

 

I’M BACKING LIVERPOOL TO DEFEAT THE EVIL MARIONETTES, BUT ONLY IF KENNY GOES.

This is why Liverpool needs to get Peter Crouch back. He’s the only one big enough to have a chance against the puppets. C’mon Crouchy. Follow the KCKRS. Like the KCKRS.

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