QWK KCKS: Celebrity Baby Scoop!

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: THERE IS SIMPLY NOTHING I COULD WRITE THAT WOULD MAKE THIS PHOTO BETTER.

Muamba and doctors. (REUTERS)

 

C’MON NEYMAR! TAKE THOSE KIDS TO SCHOOL! ER, FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING!

Neymar and his Santos teammates took on 100 kids as part of the club’s centenary celebrations. These things always end up looking like a game against a flock of birds. // Futbolita and 101GG

 

‘I’LL PUT A SPLOTCH ON YOUR ASS.’ ISN’T QUITE THE SAME AS ‘I’LL PUT A CAP IN YOUR ASS’, IS IT?

Racing Club of Argentina kicked Teofilo Guttierez off the team for threatening a teammate with a paintball gun. Colorful. // Dirty Tackle

 

WHAT’S GOOD FOR NOW COULD BE BAD FOR SPAIN LATER. THE REST OF EUROPE, THEY’D BE GOOD.

Andrew Das posits an interesting question: Would a Barca-Madrid Champions League Final hurt Spain’s chances in the Euros? Hmm. // NYT Goal Blog

 

PHOTO: THE BASQUE COUNTRY MOURNS THE TRAGIC DEATH OF A FAN, EN MASSE.

Thousands gathered in Bilbao to protest the death of Athletic fan Inigo Cabacas, killed with riot police fired rubber bullets into a crowd after Bilbao beat Schalke in the Europa League. (GETTY IMAGES)

 

NOSTALGIC POP CULTURE REFERENCES HISTORICAL FOOTBALL HAPPENING, HIPSTERS EXPLODE.

The 1966 World Cup got a bit of play on the last episode of Mad Men. I hear it’s a popular show featuring a bunch of sexist white guys selling cars or something. // Soccer Insider

 

IT’S THE BEST TEAM EVER, SEE? YOU’LL NEVER STOP US, SEE? WATCH ME NUTMEG YOU, SEE?

The Gangster XI is chock full of quality criminal mastermind talent, but I’m a little annoyed that Tony Montana is no where to be found. He’d be a bulldog of a defensive mid. // The Other 87

 

WHEREIN I AVOID MAKING THE COLOMBIAN/SECRET SERVICE JOKE FOR NO REAL REASON.

Here’s a photo of President Obama moving in on Pique’s lady down in Colombia. // Kickette

 

PHOTO: I SEE MCCARTNEY SUPPORTS THAT BLUE LIVERPOOL CLUB. NO, NOT EVERTON.

Uruguayan Liverpool Futbol Club presented Paul McCartney with a honorary membership when the former Beatle opened his Latin American tour in Montevideo. (GETTY IMAGES)

 

ENGLISH PEOPLE AT A HOCKEY GAME IS TOTALLY WEIRD. JUST IS.

The Beckhams went to a hockey game, but this is really just here so I can link to a site called “Celebrity Baby Scoop.” It amuses me. // Celebrity Baby Scoop

 

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE GAUCHE? LINKING TO GOSSIP RIGHT AFTER THAT CELEBRITY BABY THING.

It’s a football gossip roundup, but still. I feel dirty. // Bleacher Report

 

NOW THAT I’M CAUGHT UP ON SCOOPS ABOUT THE BABIES OF CELEBRITIES, I’M FREE TO SCOUR THE INTERNET FOR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. LIKE PHOTOS OF ARSHAVIN IN VARIOUS HATS.

Which will never get old. Never ever ever ever. Follow us and like us.

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