QWK KCKS: Class and Style

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: GOLD FOR THE USWNT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING…TEAM JUMP PHOTO!

It’s like if the opening credits for Laverne & Shirley went to the Olympics and won a gold medal. (AP Photo)
 

 

CLASSY THINGS TO DO ARE CLASSY THINGS TO DO. RIP KIRK URSO, GONE MUCH TOO SOON.

Props to Toronto FC for working with MLS and the Columbus Crew to reschedule Saturday’s match so that Crew players could attend the funeral of teammate Kirk Urso. // Soccer By Ives

 

THERE IS ONLY ONE EXPLANATION, IF JOSE KNEW IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO…

Jose admits that poking Tito Vilanova in the eye was bad, mmmkay. The explanation, of course, is that he was under the control of a psychic with a mustache. Duh. // Dirty Tackle

 

SACRILEGE OF SACRILEGE! YANKS OUT! IF ONLY WE HAD AN ENGLISH OWNER LIKE MIKE ASHLEY! OH WAIT!

Liverpool owner John Henry admits the club could sell the naming rights to Anfield if the deal was right. But take heart, Liverpool fans – Fenway Park is still Fenway Park. // Off the Post

 

Tea time, with Alan Rickman. Because.

 

PHOTO: I’D LIKE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND LEARN HOW TO BE MORE LIKE THE JAPANESE.

Their team just won silver. That means they lost the gold medal game. The Japanese are amazing. Except for that guy below. What’s up with the lack of clothes, dude? (Above: Getty Images, Below: Reuters)
 

 

YOU GOT POLITICS IN MY SOCCER. YOU GOT SOCCER IN MY POLITICS. LET’S DANCE.

Check out this intriguing new podcast that asked (and attempts to answer) a different big question surrounding soccer each week. It’s super thinky, but good. // The Big Question

 

I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON HERE, AND IF YOU TRY TO TELL ME, I’LL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

For some reason, celebrating with their hard-won U.S. Open Cup trophy entailed a disturbing lack of pants for Sporting Kansas City. Whatha. // Kickette

 

THEY DON’T DESERVE, BUT THEY DO. THIS IS SO FIFA IN EVERY WAY.

England is third in the new FIFA rankings, which makes sense even though they’re probably not the third best team in the world. Got it? // A Football Report

 

PHOTO: AND A WHOLE LOT OF LOVE FOR THE WOMEN OF JAPAN. CLASS AND STYLE.

These ladies can straight ball. They aren’t world champs for nothing, and they’re supremely classy in defeat. (Getty Images)

 

IF AFTER THE FIRST TWO TIMES YOU DON’T SUCCEED, JUST KEEP TRYING.

On the back of the USWNT’s success at the Olympics, another attempt at a professional women’s league in America is taking shape. Let’s hope third time’s the charm. // The Equalizer

 

DO NOT DOUBT HOPE OR HATE ON HOPE BECAUSE HOPE WILL ALWAYS MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID.

Hope Solo, the total jam. // Bleacher Report

 

ANYONE GOT ANY CHANGE? I’M A LITTLE SHORT. CHECK THE COUCH CUSHIONS.

Manchester United’s IPO kicked off today, with the stock trading at just north of $14. For less than a hideous Manchester United cap, you can own a piece of the storied English club. Which is all kinds of wrong, and you’d just be helping the Glazers to more asshattery, but who am I to tell you not to buy?

Follow KCKRS. Like KCKRS. BUY! SELL! OTHER THINGS THEY YELL AT THE STOCK EXCHANGE!

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