QWK KCKS: Dehydration Through Drooling

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: <JIMMCKAY>AND THE AGONY OF DEFEAT.</JIMMCKAY>
For every winner, a loser. And a heartbroken loser when your team doesn’t give up a goal all tournament and still doesn’t lift the trophy. More on Zambia’s uplifting victory in the AFCON a little later on KCKRS. (REUTERS)

 

THIS CAT MATTERS MORE THAN OTHER CATS BECAUSE I SAW IT ON TV. FACT.
If you were wondering what happened to the Anfield Cat, wonder no more. He’s going to be “match fit” soon, is he? Ugh. // Click Liverpool

 

BEER, SCARVES AND DUMB HATS. AMERICAN SOCCER FANS!!!!
So this is what what FC Dallas Stadium looks like when people actually show up. Wait, tired joke. Let me try again…clearly they needed all that beer, what with so many people risking dehydration drooling over Alex Morgan… // Free Beer Movement

 

TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH ENGLAND, THEN CALLED IT ‘HANDS OF GOD.’ RIMSHOT.
Argentina-Brazil as you’ve never see it before. Handsy. They really need to knuckle down. I hope there’s no finger-pointing between teammates. Okay, I’ll stop. // Invent Football
 

PHOTO: I THINK THE MILK IN MY COFFEE JUST CURDLED.
Okay, so Patrice Evra has a pretty good “I don’t like you” glare. (REUTERS)

 

SO THAT’S WHAT THE CANADIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM AS SUNG BY FANS LOOKS LIKE AS A SOUNDWAVE EMBROIDERED ON A SHIRT. I’D ALWAYS WONDERED.
Canada’s 100th anniversary shirts are super clean. Except for that soundwave thing, which I thought was a sprig of something at first. Hey, those Canadians like their foliage. // The Beautiful Gear

 

WHITHER THE THREE LIONS? NOT IN THIS HEART.
A story of a man falling out of love with the England National Team, something that seems to be happening a lot these days. // twohundredpercent

 

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I WAS EATING? SERIOUSLY, GUESS.
Iaquinta appears not to be enjoying the aromatics of Adrian Mutu’s mouth. Who knows where that thing’s been. // Kickette

 

VIDEO: THE WEEKEND’S RUNNER-UP.
But only because of Zambia. This is Adele killing it at the Grammys, and while it’s not directly soccer-related, Adele is an avowed Spurs fan so we’re taking some liberties. Deal with it. (YouTube)

 

IN THIS SITUATION, EVERYBODY’S STUPID.
So this happened. United fans taking the piss out Liverpool with a fanzine. Blargh. // Dirty Tackle

 

BECAUSE YOU WERE TOTALLY HOPING TO FIND A WAY TO RELIVE IT TODAY. WE GOT YOU COVERED.
Did you not want a visual timeline of the entire Suarez-Evra saga from way back when Suarez said that thing to the non-handshake handshake. My bad. // Bleacher Report

PHOTO: I GOTTA GET ME ONE OF THESE.
Let’s close with a photo, shall we? This is what Pep Guardiola wore during Barcelona’s loss to Osasuna yesterday (via Reuters). I half expect him to pull his feet and head in and hide for a bit. Cocooned. Follow us and like us because we’re special. Like Pep’s coat.

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