QWK KCKS: Ding Ding Dong

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: EUROPA LEAGUE PLAYOFF QUALIFIER FEVER! CATCH IT!

Hamdi Harbaoui of Lokeren scored against Viktoria Plzen and celebrated for no one, because there was no one. This is what football will look like after the apocalypse.

 

THIS IS LIFE IN A POST-FABRICE MUAMBA WORLD. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

Sevilla player Hedwiges Maduro went to Texas to get checked out for a heart abnormality. Thankfully, he’s fine and can continue his career. // Texas Heart Institute

 

I’M NOT SURE I’M COMFORTABLE WITH A WELL-READ FOOTBALLER. I MEAN AN ACTUAL ONE, NOT JOEY BARTON.

Here’s an audio interview with The Secret Footballer. Sorta. Not really, but there’s a “voice” saying his words. // BBC Radio

 

ARE THE KIDS ALRIGHT? MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILL PEOPLE EVER STOP USING THAT TIRED REFERENCE?

I’ve docked myself 6 points for the transgression. How about look at 30 MLS academy kids who are taking their games to the college ranks? // Top Drawer Soccer

 

LLUIS GENE/AFP/GettyImages

PHOTO: BECAUSE, LIKE POLITE INDIVIDUALS, BARCA KEEPS THEIR FINGERS TO THEMSELVES.

“‘They put the finger in the eye. We put the ball in the net.” Indeed, young Catalan. Indeed. Messi and Alexis Sanchez celebrate one such instance below. It is the hug of great friends.
 

LLUIS GENE/AFP/GettyImages

 IT’S THESE KINDS OF BREAKDOWNS THAT LEAD TO THE COLLAPSE OF CIVILIZATION, PEOPLE. GET IT TOGETHER.

Clint Dempsey and Fulham are in a tiff because Brendan Rodgers opened his piehole and the thing snowballed. // Dirty Tackle

 

I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT?

Jose Mourinho criticizes the referees without actually criticizing the referees, then vows not to criticize the referees all season. Hmm. // Off the Post

 

BECAUSE, AND IT BEARS REPEATING AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN: HOMOPHOBIA SUCKS AND THESE STORIES ARE IMPORTANT.

A courageous first-hand account of being gay and a soccer player by former high school player of the year Stephen Bickford. // Gay 4 Soccer

 

Craig Barritt/Getty Images

PHOTO: RING-A-DING-DING-DONG. RING-A-DING-DING-DONG.

The most-capped active player in world soccer, Christie Rampone of the USWNT, rings the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

 

IF THE AFRICA CUP OF NATIONS IS WORTH A TOYOTA, THEN THE GOLD CUP IS PROBABLY WORTH A HYUNDAI.

Check out the sweet new ride presented to Zambia head coach Herve Renard by a mining company in appreciation of Renard’s stewardship of the team to their first continental title. // Times of Zambia

 

ON THIS SIDE OF THE POND, BRAD DAVIS IS THE PATRON SAINT.

The Church of the Left-Footed Footballer. Get some religion. // Bleacher Report

 

GO FORTH AND…DO SOMETHING FOOTBALL RELATED BECAUSE IT’S THE WEEKEND FOR CRIPE’S SAKE.

Is it cripe’s? Or cripes’? Whatever. Follow KCKRS and like KCKRS for Jose’s sake (also, Zlataminate). There, problem solved.

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