QWK KCKS: Don’t Think Anything

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: GLAD TO SEE THEY’RE MEETING THEIR LEGAL OBLIGATION.

Why yes, it is the law that there have to be shirts held up at a soccer announcement of any kind. That’s the only explanation for this. I wonder if they flipped a coin to decide who got “SMART” and who got “SOCCER.” (Getty Images)

 

LUCKILY THE OTHER 8 AND A HALF INNINGS OF ONE RUN BASEBALL WERE SUPER AWESOME…

The Liverpool squad was at Fenway Park in Boston last night to take in a Red Sox game, but left before the dramatic winning home run. By the way, the report linked here will be hilarious to Americans. // 101GG

 

OH, POOR YOU HAVING TO MOVE TO PARIS. WAH WAH WAH.

Thiago Silva didn’t want to leave Milan. Really. Sorry, Rossoneri fans. // Dirty Tackle

 

FACT: PR TRAINING INVOLVES CLAMPING THEIR EYELIDS OPEN AND MAKING THEM WATCH CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS.

Footballers are boring because they don’t think anything. They don’t think anything because they’re not allowed to. // A Football Report

 

PHOTO: THE SEATTLE SOUNDERS INVENTED GENDER-BASED NAME BURNS.

A Sounders fan decides the best way to troll Ashley Cole is to bust on his name. (AP Photo)

 

FACT: ORIOL ROSELL IS THE FIRST PLAYER IN HISTORY TO ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT HIS LIFE AFTER FOOTBALL.

20-year old Rosell is signing with Sporting Kansas City in MLS specifically so he can play AND get his degree. Smart kid. // The Football Ramble

 

IF THERE’S A THING THAT ALEX FERGUSON SHOULDN’T COMMENT ON, HE HASN’T FOUND IT.

S’ralex thinks Kenny Dalglish got fired because he mishandled the Luis Suarez situation. Because Fergie would know. // Off the Post

 

NEW POLICY: THE TEAM THAT FINISHES BETTER IN THE TOURNEY GETS THE BETTER SEATS. I”M BETTING ON THE WOMEN.

This has been bouncing around for a few days, but perhaps you missed it: The Japan women’s team got economy seats to London while the men got to sit in business class. Sexist samurais! // Wall Street Journal

 

PHOTO: HERE ARE SOME GUYS TRYING TO PUT A DRESS ON A PIG-I MEAN SET UP YANKEE STADIUM FOR SOCCER.

Some guys I don’t envy are setting up Yankee Stadium for Chelsea-PSG on July 22nd. Best. Idea. Ever. (AP Photo)

 

JOKE SETUP: HOW MANY TEAM GB WOMEN PLAYERS CAN YOU FIT IN A TANK?

Still working on the punchline. In real life, it’s a lot. // Futbolita

 

AN UNATTACHED PEP GUARDIOLA IS A MENACE TO MANAGERS THE WORLD OVER. SCOURGE.

Roberto Di Matteo is getting his shot as Chelsea’s full time manager. That shadow you see over his belongs to Pep Guardiola, says this one guy. // Bleacher Report

 

HERE’S YOUR REMINDER THAT SOCCER/FOOTBALL/FUTBOL ISN’T EVERYTHING. MOST THINGS, BUT NOT EVERYTHING.

Our sincere condolences go out to former Man City and Rangers man and USMNT great Claudio Reyna, who lost his 13-year old son to cancer yesterday. Perspective. Follow and like.

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