QWK KCKS: Let’s All Wear Our Numbered Hats

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: I REALLY HOPE THIS CATCHES ON. EASY IDENTIFICATION.
This is Zenit’s number ten, midfielder Danny, wearing his number on his hat during a Champions League presser in Porto. (Getty Images)

 

JAMIE REDKNAPP’S INTERNAL DIALOG IS JUST NON-STOP STAR WARS QUOTES APPLIED TO EVERYDAY LIFE.
Jamie Redknapp’s confused his Hammills. One played a Jedi warrior in the biggest film trilogy of all time (and has one “m”). The other plays on the wing for Wolves. Easy mistake… // 101GG

 

ZLATAN’S INTERNAL DIALOG IS A LOOP OF THAT ONE TINA TURNER SONG.
Zlatan doesn’t need your puny award to know that he is the strongest. He knows it in his head. // Dirty Tackle

 

THIS IS WHY BOB BARKER WAS SO VITAL TO RESPONSIBLE PET OWNERSHIP.
Manchester United’s Anderson bought two dogs, failed to check on their sexes. Now he’s trying to unload a pack of puppies on anyone and everyone. // Off the Post

 

PHOTO: WHEN THE HEIGHT OF TECHNOLOGY WAS A TV ON CASTERS.
In this classic advertisement (classic as in old), the super team of Clough and Taylor show off their fancy TVs. (via @retro_mbm)

 

INTERESTING STORY ACCOMPANIED BY TOTALLY WORTHLESS PHOTOGRAPH.
Luis Suarez gave the bird to the Fulham faithful yesterday, something that requires an investigation. BBC went with the pixelated photo, because middle fingers will scar the youth. // BBC Sport

 

DON’T LOOK AT THIS TOO LONG OR YOUR HEAD MIGHT EXPLODE.
If you’re in the market for a David Beckham-in-karate-gear mousepad that also has a Detroit Pistons logo on it for unknown and possibly nefarious reasons, today is your lucky day. // The Third Kit

 

I HEAR YOU CAN CONTROL THEM WITH A COMBINATION OF TRAPS AND PROPER CLEANING.
When Mancs overrun your favorite bar and you’re sick to death over it, the best thing do to is write a sarcastic letter of apology for being a jerk to one of them. // Unpro Foul

 

PHOTO: SNOOD CREW.
City and their snoods train ahead of their Champions League clash with Bayern tomorrow in Manchester. (Getty Images)

 

ALWAYS WITH THE KICKING, THOSE SOCCER FUTBOL GUYS.
When American football and soccer football collide for photo/video op purposes, it typically involves the kicking of field goals and such. Here’s the Union/Eagles version of said op. // Philadelphia Eagles

 

WHY DO THEY NEED TEN OTHER GUYS IF THEY ALREADY HAVE CHUCK NORRIS?
If you’re not careful, the All-Ninja XI will take you out with lightning fast sneak attack…goals…while your back is turned. // The Other 87

 

I THINK SHE FIGURED OUT WHAT TO DO WITH IT EVENTUALLY.
Hey, look, photos of a famous, very attractive, celebrity with a soccer ball. And she’s wearing a little yellow dress. Don’t trip over yourself clicking this link. // Kickette

 

PHOTO: A DIFFERENT KIND OF SIMULATION.
Polish special forces drop from a helicopter during a simulated hostage situation, a security exercise ahead of next year’s Euros. (Reuters)

 

I REALLY CAN’T DETERMINE WHETHER I SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR HIM. I’M LEANING TOWARDS ‘NO.’
Sad Brazil kid at the Nike International Friendlies, where the US U-17s took down the Brazil U-17s. Official blog is officially trolling a 12-year old. // US Soccer YNT Blog

 

SOMETHING ABOUT ‘IT’S NOT HAVING THE BALL THAT MATTERS, IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH IT.’
I’m sure someone said something like that as some point, so just pretend it’s a famous quote. Possession, in part thanks to Barca’s dominance, is becoming the ends (rather than the means) for too many teams. But they can’t all be Barca and make it count, now can they? // The Footy Blog

 

WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THESE TWO WERE DATING?
Clint Dempsey and Craig Bellamy got into it a bit yesterday at Craven Cottage. It led to this decidedly awkward photo. // SB Nation

 

I’M JUST GOING TO PRETEND I’M THE NUMBER TEN OF KCKRS, AND GET MYSELF A HAT THAT REFLECTS MY POSITION.
Everyone else can fight it out for the number nine hat, which is almost as good as the number ten but not quite. The big boss man can get one that says “Gaffer” or something. Follow tweets, like faces, do that email .thing.

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