QWK KCKS: Manfaceunitedbook

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

VIDEO: BECAUSE THEY GOT KEI.
KC supporters sing their new song dedicated to forward Kei Kamara at a rally before their MLS playoff game against Colorado. Doo doo doot doot doo doo doot. (YouTube)

 

INTRODUCING MANBOOK UNITED. ER. FACEMANUNITEDBOOK. UM. MANFACEUNITEDBOOK.
Manchester United has hired a digital agency with the goal of building its own branded social network. // EPL Talk

 

IN THIS STORY, ENGLAND PLAYS THE JILTED LOVER.
The Premier League is taking on new markets like so many trophy wives. Here’s a thing I wrote. // twofootedtackle

 

OUR HATS ARE OFF, OUR HEARTS GO OUT.
We’re not usually serious around here, but it’s nearly impossible not to want to acknowledge the courage of Doncaster’s Billy Sharp. // Kickette

 

PHOTO: DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHERE THAT THUMB’S BEEN?
Cristiano Ronaldo does the thumb-sucking celebration after scoring against Lyon yesterday. (Reuters)

 

GENES AND GENIUS.
Johann Cruyff’s grandson is in the Wigan reserves apparently, and hit this belter of a goal against Preston. Wowzers. // 101GG

 

MARIO BALOTELLI IS SETTING THE WORLD ON FIRE. ALSO, THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
Super Mario is getting the 30-foot tall effigy treatment for Guy Fawkes Night. There’s a zero percent chance Mario knows what Bonfire Night is, but I’m positive he loves bonfires. // Dirty Tackle

 

CRAP STADIUM, CRAP TEAM, WHY NOT GO FOR THE TRIPLE?
The top five terrible candidates to take over the New England Revolution now that Stevie Nicol is history. Sven in America is a dream… // The Third Kit

 

PHOTO: FINGERS IN A SENSITIVE AREA.
Benfica’s Nemanja Matic finds that his hand fits perfectly in the eye socket of Basel’s Benjamin Hoggel during Champions League play yesterday. (AP Photo)

 

TEAM GB APPEARS TO BE ENTIRELY WELSH AT THE MOMENT.
Aaron Ramsey does that thing Garreth Bale already did and got in trouble for, wearing the Team GB for a promotional photo. // CaughtOffside

 

IF YOU DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW, ALEXI LALAS IS A MAD MAN.
Alexi defends Rafa Marquez. Yeah, you read that right. // Mirror Football

 

THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP: IT’S A MEDIUM OF LAST RESORT.
There was a time when football on the radio was enchanting (I wouldn’t really know, since I’m American, but I can certainly relate). No more. // When Saturday Comes

 

GRAPH: SO HE SCORES A LOT THEN?
The attacking prowess of one Lionel Andrés Messi as expressed in a bar graph. See Marca.com for more.

 

SKY BLUE, WATER WET, ETC. AND SO FORTH.
Michael Owen got injured again. Carry on. // Soccernet

 

STRIKER, ACTOR, CENTRAL MIDFIELDER. WHAT CAN’T HE DO?
Wayne Rooney is a central midfielder now. Now he can get stuck in without having to track back to do it. Huzzah! // NYT

 

BUILD THIS MAN A STATUE. I’M ALMOST NOT KIDDING.
Here’s Tony Beltran super headed clearance from last night MLS playoff battle between Real Salt Lake and the Seattle Sounders. Keep in mind RSL won 3-2 on aggregate. // The Original Winger

 

THE GAFFER’S GOT A GUN.
Arsenal aren’t a one man team, but Robin van Persie better not leave. Arsene isn’t quite stable. // Studs Up

 

MANFACEUNITEBOOK WILL PROBABLY JUST END UP BEING A BUNCH OF FANS POSTING PHOTOS OF THEIR KIDS IN TINY MAN UNITED JERSEYS AND ANNOYING GAME ANNOUNCEMENTS ABOUT THE LATEST HARVEST OF ROONEY HAIR PLUGS. OOH, YOU WATERED THEM DID YOU?
Which, I think you’ll agree, we all need like we need a digit to the eye or a bout of dysentery. Do the thing: Twitter. Facebook (the real one). Done.

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