QWK KCKS: Old Lady On Top

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: ONE DAY I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING PEOPLE MIGHT CALL ‘ROBSONIAN.’

Newcastle unveiled a 9-foot Bobby Robson statue this weekend. (Getty Images)

 

TWO THINGS: ONE, WHAT IN THE FLYING HELL? AND TWO, WHY WOULD YOU, I MEAN, HUH?

Watch this gif of the flashiest penalty ever taken a couple dozen times and try to explain to me if it’s really cool or the dumbest thing ever. // Invent Football

 

ALL THE UNITED FANS WILL BE YELLING ‘NOONAN!’ AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

City has the title in their sites after a win away against Newcastle. Now Mancini is pondering his first Prem win…like a boss. // Futbolita

 

YOU THINK YOU KNOW, BUT YOU DON’T KNOW. SERIOUSLY, THAT ANGLE IS WORTHLESS.

Look people, unless the camera is set up perfectly in line with the goal line, you can’t be certain Andy Carroll’s attempt to equalize in the FA Cup wasn’t actually a goal. If only there was a way to be sure about these things. What’s that? You say there is? I don’t believe you. // Dirty Tackle

 

PHOTO: THIS IS ZLATAN’S ‘JUST HEARD PEP IS LEAVING BARCA…HAHA!’ FACE.

So creepy. I mean Kevin-Prince Boateng’s hair, of course. (AP Photo)

 

THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT. DID THAT THING, AND THIS THING HAPPENS. NELSON LAUGH.

Emre decided it was okay to call Didier Zokora a racial slur early in the season. Yesterday, Zokora decided it was okay to kick Emre in the man bits. Fair is fair. // Off the Post

 

SOMETIMES I REALLY WISH I HAD LIVED IN THE SIXTIES. BUT THEN I REMEMBER NIXON, SO I STOP.

This photo of Johann Cruyff and his wife sitting on a bed, from sometime in the Sixties, has a strange calming effect on me for unknown reasons. // The Vintage Football Club

 

IT’S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN ONE BIKE IS TWO BIKES (NOTE: I DON’T ACTUALLY ALWAYS SAY THAT).

Meet the Georgia high school player who scored on an overhead kick exactly a year after he had an overhead kick goal disallowed because the referee was an asshat. // Prep Rally

 

PHOTO: I’VE CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS. THERE’S A 67.8% CHANCE THIS GUY IS DIVORCED (OR WILL BE VERY SOON).

Priorities? (Reuters)

 

INSERT TOTALLY TERRIBLE PUN ABOUT THOSE GUYS LOBBING ‘GRANADAS.’ RIMSHOT?

Upset by the refereeing at the end of their loss to Real Madrid, relegation-threatened Granada resorted to bumrushing the officials and hitting the referee in the face with bottles. // Deadspin

 

JUST LIKE A FAMILY REUNION WITH A DOMINEERING MATRIARCH, SERIE A IS RUN BY AN OLD LADY.

Juventus are finally back at the top of Italian football, six years on from the Calciopoli scandal. // Bleacher Report

 

IF YOU STILL CLICKED TO READ THIS POST DESPITE THE HEADLINE, I APPLAUD YOUR COMMITMENT.

Because really, that was just inappropriate of me. But is it my fault when the jokes right themselves? No, it’s not. Follow KCKRS, like KCKRS, be one with KCKRS.

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