QWK KCKS: Olympics Schmalympics

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: CRUSHED, DESTROYED, GUTTED, SHAMED, DESPONDENT.

The US boys react to the 95th minute equalizer scored by El Salvador that knocked the Americans out of the CONCACAF Olympic qualifying tournament. I blame Canada. (REUTERS)

 

SO CLOSE TO TITI, YOU COULD REACH OUT AND COP A FEEL. NOT THAT YOU WOULD. UM.

Excellent photos from a day out at Red Bull Arena on the occasion of the New York club’s home opener. // NTMG.

 

IF BARCELONA ARE THE BEATLES, I CAN’T WAIT FOR SGT. PEP’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND.

Oh no! Shakira is a football Yoko Ono, apparently, single-handedly breaking up the Barca band with her sexy Latin hips. // Kickette

 

THIS IS THE MOST SEATTLE THING YOU WILL SEE TODAY, UNLESS YOU WATCH 90S GRUNGE MUSIC VIDEOS RANDOMLY.

I’m shocked it took this long, but Eddie Vedder finally made an appearance at a Sounders game. // The Offside Rules

 

PHOTO: I’VE DECIDED THAT ANDY SAMBERG SHOULD PLAY IBRA IN THE MOVIE VERSION OF ‘I AM ZLATAN’.

That is if Zlatan doesn’t play himself, of course. Because honestly, who could possible do him justice? (REUTERS)

 

HEY FELLAS, THE THING YOU’RE LOOKING FOR IS THATAWAY.

The fans of German lower league club Magdeburg are your “Cleverest Fans of the Week” after giving their team directions to the goal. // 101GG

 

YOU GET $136K, AND YOU GET $136K AND YOU GET $136K…

The UAE’s Olympic-qualifying team got a nice bonus for making it to London. $136,000 each from the president of the country, just because he was feeling generous. // Oberjuerge

 

BIG RED ASKS HIMSELF QUESTIONS FOR YOUR VIDEO ENJOYMENT.

After the US U-23 failure last night in Nashville, Alexi Lalas got on the horn with Sportscenter. // The Original Winger

 

PHOTO: RUSSIAN WRESTLERS SHOULD PROBABLY STICK TO WRESTLING.

The Russian wrestling team takes a break from wrestling to play a little soccer. They looks completely coordinated. Yup. (REUTERS)

 

CLEARLY, THE SECRET TO ATHLETIC SUCCESS IS A HEALTHY DIET OF PIZZA. AMERICANS KIDS REJOICE.

Canal+ hit the locker rooms of Barcelona and Madrid after their respective visits to Mallorca. The two clubs have distinctly different ideas of good locker room food. // Dirty Tackle

 

THIS THING THAT WOULD BE AWESOME IS INSANELY UNLIKELY. CROSS YOUR FINGERS ANYWAY.

If United and City end the season tied on points and have identical goal differentials and goals scored, the Premier League title will be decided by a one-game playoff at Wembley. Yes, please. // Bleacher Report

 

OLYMPICS SHMALYMPICS. JUST A GLORIFIED YOUTH TOURNEY ANYWAY. SNIFFLE.

Yeah, so I’m still a little raw from the US failing to qualify for the Olympics. Help me feel better by following and liking KCKRS. Think of it as a digital hug. Or a digital pint if hugs make you uncomfortable.

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