QWK KCKS: One Man Show

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: PRE-INDUSTRIAL WAR HEROES GET EQUESTRIAN STATUES. MODErN FOOTBALL HEROES GET THIS.

It’s almost a shame that this is the statue Zidane gets in Paris. His worst moment, sixteen feet tall.

 

SPEAKING OF LEGACIES, IT’S GONNA SUCK IF HOPE’S IS ‘BLEW THE LID OFF A REALITY DANCING COMPETITION.

Hope Solo claims “Dancing With The Stars” is rigged. The horror. // The Inquistr (yes, it’s really called that)

 

THE SLOW TAKEOVER CONTINUES. FIRST, THIS HOMECOMING GAME. NEXT, THE NATION.

Left without an American football team to play the annual homecoming game, a high school in Michigan turned to soccer to fill the void. // Patch.com

 

WHAT, YOU THOUGHT HOMELESS SOCCER WAS JUST ABOUT THE PLAYERS?

Meet the Aussie woman who is helping homeless men and women in New York learn how to be referees. // NY Daily News

 

VIDEO: THAT’S WHY THEY CALL HIM ‘AWKWARD MOMENT MESSI’ AROUND THE TRAINING GROUND.

That awkward moment when you have the same car as a teammate think his is yours and also you’re the best player in the world.

 

PLEASE IGNORE THE GLOBAL SOCCER ICON AND DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE GUY IN THE BACK.

Is Pele’s son hawt? YOU DECIDE. // Kickette

 

IN GENERAL, WAR DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. BUT I CAN SEE THAT ‘SHARED CLUB’ THING, TOO.

In the most recent issue of The Blizzard, novelist Antonio Lobo Antunes recalls the temporary halt of hostilities during war because of football. // Footysphere

 

IS IT OVER? I CAN’T TELL, I’M CURRENTLY GOUGING MY EYES OUT WITH MY PINKY FINGERS.

Neymar and Santos do “Call Me Maybe” because this is a thing that just reached Brazil. Sob. // 101GG

 

SHOCK OF SHOCKS, SOCCER FANS DON’T REALLY WANT TO GO TO RFK ANYMORE.

MLS attendance trends are like the economy: the numbers now reflect what happened a few years back. D.C. United is currently experiencing a major lull despite having a decent team. // Soccer Insiderer

 

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A ONE-MAN SHOW? ME NEITHER. DO THEY SUCK? I BET THEY SUCK.

Follow. Like. Toodles.

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