QWK KCKS: Panenkamania

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: COPYCAT! COPYCAT! SERGIO RAMOS IS A COPYCAT!

Here’s Sergio Ramos stealing Andrea Pirlo’s act. One Panenka per tournament, Sergio! (AP Photo)

The Spain game.

Still boring. Who cares.

LINKS.

 

THIS IS WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF THE LITTLE PRINCE HAD A FOOTBALL PITCH INSTEAD OF THAT TERRIBLE LITTLE MOON THING. UPGRADE, LP.

Dan Leydon is awesome, and his work is awesome. // Dan Leydon

 

I THINK IT’S HIGH TIME WE GOT THE #FOOTBALLERPROBLEMS HASHTAG STARTED.

As in, “You girlfriend is so sexy your FA has asked that she tone it down and not hog the spotlight from the other WAGS.” #footballerproblems. // Daily Mail

 

SEE JACK STEAL. SEE JACK GO UNPUNISHED. SEE JACK GET CABINET POST. SEE JACK BE JACK.

Jack Warner, once CONCACAF president and well-known crook, somehow got himself appointed national security chief of Trinidad. He’s already calling out the troops for questionable reasons. // Trinidad Express

 

PHOTO: REST EASY, GERMANY. THE OTTERS ARE BEHIND YOU.

Psychic otters picked Germany. Not sure what the tiny cars are all about (pretty sure one is German and one is Italian though). (Getty Images)
 

 

EVERYBODY PANENKA! WE’RE ALL PANENKAING. PANENKAMANIA! PANENKAS ARE THE NEW BLACK!

I don’t think you should be allowed to claim a Panenka unless you have the mustache to match. // SFGate

 

HERE’S A QUESTION THAT IS BOUND TO MAKE A LOT OF PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

Would you want a female manager at your club? If you answer “no” before considering the CV, you’re a sexist pig. // When Saturday Comes

 

TODAY’S HISTORY LESSON IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HEROIC DEFIANCE AND THE POWER OF MYTH.

The story of the infamous “Death Match” as uncovered by the BBC. // 101GG

 

PHOTO: WE COULDN’T FIND THE PHOTO OF THE NEXT MOMENT, WHERE SLAVKO HAS HIS FACE PUNCHED IN.

A dejected Ronaldo has to deal with the grinning maw of that freaky mascot. I’d punch it. (Getty Images)

 

AND WITH THAT, OUR GRIP ON THE MODERN GAME SLIPPED FROM OUR GRASP…

Formations mean nothing. You hear me? Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada, bubkis. Forget all of the permutation of 10 men in 3 lines that you hold in your head, because it’s all worthless. // Wall Street Journal

 

IF IT GOES TO PENS, EVERY SINGLE ONE SHOULD BE A PANENKA.

I have a question: What if you were planning a Panenka and a teammate does it before you? How bitter would you be? You can’t still risk it, right? Here’s a Germany-Italy preview. // Bleacher Reporter

 

NIGHTMARE SCENARIO: ON THE PENALTY THAT COULD WIN THE EUROPEAN TITLE, THE KEEPER DOESN’T DIVE ON YOUR PANENKA.

Why does everyone say the Panenka requires “balls”? As long as your approach is decent, there is just as good of a chance that the keeper will move in the wrong direction than there is when you hit it hard and low in the corner. It’s a fallacy. And if a woman scores a Panenka in a big match, would we say the same thing? Follow KCKRS and like KCKRS. Everything we do is a Panenka.

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