QWK KCKS: Pole Dancing

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

VIDEO: REAL MADRID IS YOU. ER..US. OR THEM. REAL MADRID IS SOMEONE.
Madrid’s new promo does that fake-fan-anticipating-the-goal-in-slow-motion thing. POPCORN IS FLYING EVERYWHERE. (YouTube)

 

BALLON D’OR? MORE LIKE BARCELONA TEAM MVP. AM I RIGHT?
Here’s the Ballon d’Or candidate shortlist, complete with 8 (8!) Barcelona players. // Soccerway

 

THE PROP TOTALLY MADE THIS. OTHERWISE, YAWN.
Ajax academy kid scores, proceeds to do the machine gun celebration with the corner flag. // 101GG

 

XAVI HERNANDEZ IS PEOPLE.
Here’s a very cool image of one of those Barcelona Ballon d’Or candidates. // Invent Football

 

PHOTO: CARLES PUYOL MAKES SEXY FACE. AT THE BALL.
“Hello, ball. I am Carles. You are very beautiful. So round and supple. I am not sure what ‘supple’ means but I am sure you are it. I see you are looking about my luxurious hair. Why yes, I do grow it myself.” (AP Photo)

 

THIS IS EITHER THE SADDEST THING EVER OR A COMPLETE AND TOTAL WIND UP.
Everyone reading this now hates Neil Edwards of Wrexham, if such a person actually exists and actually wrote this nonsense. // Beat the First Man

 

THE POLISH ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR MOVES, ARE THEY? BEST DANCERS IN EUROPE? YEAH, DIDN’T THINK SO.
In this video, Lukasz Fabiański is doing something that vaguely resembles dancing, although it seems more like he’s having an seizure of some type. Get better, Lukasz. // Kickette

 

SO YOU’RE SAYING THERE’S A CHANCE.
Fifteen reasons Seattle can come back in their playoff series with RSL. The Sounders can certainly scored goals. And RSL might be missing their best defenders. Still… // Prost Amerika

 

PHOTO: PLAYFUL MARIO.
It’s good to see Mario laughing again after all he’s been through. (AP Photo)

 

UNLEARNING IS LEARNING THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU LEARNED PREVIOUSLY. I THINK.
Five things unlearned thanks to the events of the weekend. You’ll find yourself nodding along. // The Footy Blog

 

THIS SOUNDS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, BORING.
Should managers be inscrutable, composed, dispassionate? In other words, should they be more like Tony La Russa? // When Saturday Comes

 

I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT FOOTBALL IS DEAD.
Here’s the obituary. It’s EPPP what done it. // Surreal Football

 

STAN KROENKE WILL NOW SAY ‘HERE’S THE THING.’ A LOT.
An interview with Arsenal majority shareholder Stan Kroenke touches on everything from the Glazers to American pro/rel bogeymen. // The Mirror

 

EXCUSE ME WHILE I PICK UP ALL THE POPCORN THAT GUY DROPPED.
Some of you probably haven’t followed us on Twitter yet, and I know a few of you haven’t done the Facebook like thing. What’s up with that? WE ARE YOU.

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