QWK KCKS: Putting Out the Fire

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: THE EASY JOKE HERE INVOLVES THE RED BARON. LOVE THAT GUY’S PIZZA.

Marseille keeper Steve Mandanda disposes of a paper airplane tossed at him by Bayern supporters. (REUTERS)

 

AT THIS POINT, I’M POSITIVE NANDO IS CONSCIOUSLY TRYING TO LOOK LIKE AN ANIME CHARACTER.

Maybe it will help his marketing potential in the Far East. His hair sure does look horrible, though. // Kickette

 

BORA’S IN QATAR, SOAKING UP THE SUN, CASUALLY TROLLING USMNT FANS. YOU KNOW, JUST BEING BORA.

Let’s play “Where in the world is Bora Milutinovic?” If you guess a small Arab nation with lots of money, you win. // NYT Goal Blog

 

NEW T-SHIRT IDEA: ‘WHY ALWAYS ME SPRAYING DOWN TEENAGE GIRLS WITH FIRE-RETARDING CHEMICALS?’

Mario Balotelli could be in trouble for an incident at Drake’s Manchester Arena concert last week. // TNT Magazine

 

PHOTO: THE AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER HAS A BALL ON HER HEAD. AHEM.

Australian Primer Minister Julia Gillard holds a ball on her head during a press conference announcing a new A-League team in West Sydney. (GETTY IMAGES)

 

CLEVER FOOTBALLERS ARE SO FREAKING CLEVER. HE WATCHED A LOT OF DVDS!

Apparently Andre Villas-Boas’s nickname in the Chelsea locker-room was “DVD.” I bet that’s Terry’s. It’s just so witty and smart. Eye roll. // Dirty Tackle

 

I REALLY HOPE THIS IS CALLED ‘PULLING A FERGIE’ AND GUYS TALK ABOUT ‘PULLING A FERGIE TOGETHER.’

Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs totally faked their free kick fail against Blackburn on Monday. It’s something Alex Ferguson’s teams have been doing for thirty years. // 101GG

 

THE WORLD WILL HAVE TO MAKE DO WITHOUT THIS PARTICULAR LOAD OF BULL.

An iconic Wolves fanzine is publishing its final issue after 23 years. // Junk Archive via WSC

 

PHOTO: ‘OKAY GUYS, PRETEND TO BE HOOLIGANS. CHANNEL YOUR INNER ENGLISHMAN.’

Riot police participate in a hooligan-control exercise at Arena Lviv in Lviv, Ukraine ahead of Euro 2012. Sorry about that Englishman crack, Englishmen. (REUTERS)

 

DON’T HATE ME BECAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL. HATE ME BECAUSE I TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM.

Samantha Brick’s footballing contemporary can sympathize. // The FCF

 

THIS, IF ONLY BECAUSE WE NEED FEWER HAM-HANDED ODES TO BARCELONA ON THE INTERNET. MUCH FEWER.

He’re a question that people are beginning to ask themselves: Is Barcelona’s dominance getting boring? // Bleacher Report

 

ADDITIONAL SUGGESTED EURO 2012 DRILL: THE CORRALLING AND DETAINING OF THIRTY-SIX DUTCH WOMEN IN SHORT DRESSES. TRUST ME, IT’S PROBABLY NECESSARY.

And fun, right? Riot police never get to have any fun. Someone should throw them a bone. Follow and like KCKRS! Now!

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