QWK KCKS: Say Hello To Pirate Santa

Photo of author
Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

VIDEO: TOO YOUNG.
Football lost Gary Speed this weekend. At Swansea, a minute of silence became a minute of applause to honor the Welsh great. (YouTube)

 

YOU CAN TELL RIO’S NOT VERY GOOD AT TENNIS BECAUSE HE STICKS HIS TONGUE OUT WHEN HE PLAYS.
Photos of footballers taking in the pro tennis event in London. Andrey Arshavin never disappoints. Never. // ONTD_Football

 

ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION, THAT TICKET WOULD COST $612.34 TODAY. SORRY, I MEANT ‘ADJUSTED FOR GREEDY TEAM OWNERS.’
Image of an upper deck ticket to Pele’s last match, in which he played one half for the Cosmos and one half for Santos, back in 1977. // Invent Football

 

ONE KILOMETER WORTH OF CREEPY, OBSESSIVE FAN SCRIBBLINGS. IT’S LIKE A BLOG, IN PHYSICAL FORM.
Neymar received a letter one kilometer long from some fans who should probably rethink their priorities, not to mention rethink their individual impacts on deforestation. Seriously. // Dirty Tackle

 

PHOTO: WHAT? THERE’S A PIRATE SANTA? WHY WASN’T I INFORMED?
Milanese Santas mill about the pitch at the San Siro. I’m so excited about Pirate Santa I can hardly contain myself. And is that…Himalaya Santa? (Reuters)

 

AND IT DIDN’T EVEN TAKE JESSICA FLETCHER TO FIGURE IT OUT. OR COLUMBO. UH, I’M NOT THAT OLD, I SWEAR.
Why always you, Mario? Don’t you know by now? You need a new t-shirt. // Surreal Football

 

I’M WITH HIM. SORRY, RACE FANS.
Ronaldo’s kid doesn’t want to watch the Formula One race or talk to the annoying TV men, he wants to go home. // CaughtOffside

 

COMING SOON: UN STADE FIT FOR UN ROI.
Stade Saputo’s wholesale renovation is underway to get the place ready for L’Impact’s big league debut next year. // The Offside Rules

 

PHOTO: GILDED MARIO SEES YELLOW.
Speaking of Mario, here he is getting carded for his shenanigans on Sunday. (Reuters)

 

YOU WON’T LAUGH WHEN THEY’VE BOUGHT UP EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
Fabio Capello is not headed to Anzhi, despite what you may have heard about him being in Russia. He was there for ballet, okay, and that’s totally believable because Capello is definitely the type of guy that appreciates ballet. // The Stiles Council

 

SO THE OPPOSITE OF SOMEONE LIKE, OH I DON’T KNOW…QATAR THEN?
The UAE is stumbling with their national team program, might consider naturalizing kids who grow up in the country but are never given citizenship. // Oberjuerge

 

THIS IS THE LOOK MOST OF THE GUYS WHO GO WITH THE STUBBLE ARE GOING FOR. EXACTLY NONE OF US THEM PULL IT OFF.
Xabi, being Xabi, with wife Nagore at some GQ thing where he’s Man of the Year or whatever. // Kickette

 

PHOTO: TRIBUTE.
The Billy Bremmer statue outside of Elland Road became the site of tributes to Gary Speed, who started his career with Leeds. (Getty Images)

 

SERIOUS WORDS ON A SERIOUS TOPIC.
Even before the tragic passing of Gary Speed, the topic of footballers and depression was receiving greater attention. It’s a taboo that needs total shattering. // twohundredpercent

 

UNTIL YOU JUST MENTIONED IT, I FORGOT THE LEAGUE CUP EXISTED. THAT’S HOW MUCH I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE LEAGUE CUP.
Kenny Dalglish cares about the League Cup. Something about Liverpool’s excellent record winning it, Kenny’s place in the teams that won it way back when, blah blah blah etc. etc. // Bleacher Report

 

MY LIST FOR PIRATE SANTA INCLUDES WORDS LIKE ‘BOOTY’ AND ‘PLUNDER.’ THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.
Avast and ho ho ho. Follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, send us Christmas cards and just generally be merry. It’s the pirate Christmas way.

Leave a Comment