QWK KCKS: Silence, We Sink

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: DRESDEN SUPPORTERS WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN.
The notorious fans of Dynamo Dresden create a Hades-like atmosphere at the club’s DFB-Pokal match with Borussia Dortmund yesterday. (Reuters)

 

A QUALITY USE OF THE ONLINE PETITION. THE FIRST IN HISTORY, I THINK.
There’s a petition to have Mark Lawrenson (and others) bring back their staches for Movember. Only 49,000+ signatures to go… // Off the Post

 

TESCO IS HAVIN A LAUGH. AND NOW I’M LAUGHING TOO.
This is a clever little price drop on a Man United cake. I’d have that for a pound, but only because I’m famished. // Beat the First Man

 

MESSI’S MOM IS A CLICHE. FROM THE 1950′s.
The girl Lionel Messi used to date–when she was 14 and he was 18–was chased through an electronics store by Leo’s mom, who was wielding a frying pan at the time. Only in Alabama…wait. // Dirty Tackle

 

DON’T JUST SIT THERE! START BAILING!
Marseille fans put up a banner that conveyed a rather morose message during their League Cup match with Lens. It reads “Silence, we sink.” (AP Photo)

 

WHEREIN THE TEAM THAT CUTS UP TREES DURING GAMES JOINS A CAMPAIGN TO PLANT MORE TREES. WHICH THEY WILL THEN CUT UP AT GAMES.
The partnership between a group call the Friends of Trees and the Portland Timbers produced some billboards based on the Timbers’ fans-with-axes campaign. // OregonLive

 

I THINK HE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE, BUT THE LITERAL VERSION IS FUNNIER.
Michel Platini says David Beckham at PSG would be “good for shopping”, which gave The Daily Mail license to paraphrase in the headline. Of course it did. // The Daily Mail

 

THAT ‘FORMERLY WITH CHICAGO FIRE’ BIT IS A TAD MISLEADING, BUT OK.
If you watch MLS, try not to chuckle too hard at this story that says Arsenal is interested in Red Bull defender Tim Ream. He’s talented, but this was not a good season. // The Independent

 

PHOTO: PEP…ER..THRUSTING?
Here’s Pep Guardiola reacting to something during Barca’s match with Granada yesterday. I feel vaguely uneasy posting this photo for some reason. (Reuters)

 

PUT YOUR SORRYS (SORRIES?) IN A SACK, MISTER.
John Terry doesn’t understand irony. You heard it here first. // Surreal Football

 

FINALLY, PLAYING THE CLARINET IS COOL AGAIN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘NEVER WAS’?
Feranando Llorente blew his own horn, and Kickette has the pictures to prove it. // Kickette

 

ALL THINGS ARE BETTER WITH A LITTLE BERBA.
Manchester United has grocery stores making fun of them. It’s time to unleash the Berba on Everton and turn the tide, it says here. // Bleacher Report

 

PLAYOFF FEVER IS GOING AROUND. LUCKILY, THE SYMPTOMS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYABLE.
Tonight the MLS playoffs start, and yes of course we’ll be watching why wouldn’t we playoffs are awesome shut your mouth about it. Anyway, follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook and be sure to tune in to see how Titi gets along in Dallas against Brek the Magic Unicorn and FC Dallas. It’s gonna be awesome…

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