QWK KCKS: The Trollface Protocol

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: OOOH, VLAD, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET THAT LOOKED AT.

This is an unpleasant photo of Russia’s Vladimir Bystrov, who appears to have taken a bit of knock.

 

HEADLINE: THE TRUTH ALWAYS MATTERS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED.

The biggest news of the day, with British PM David Cameron apologizing for years of lies regarding the blame for the Hillsborough disaster. JFT96. // The Guardian and the Full Report

 

‘MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: BILBAO PROTOCOL’ IS A BRILLIANT IDEA. I’LL WRITE IT.

Did Javi Martinez go back to Athletic Bilbao on a secret mission to recover his stuff that he he left behind when he left for Bayern Munich? // Dirty Tackle

 

WHAT SHE DIDN’T SAY IS THAT THAT ‘STUFF’ IS RAISED HACKLES AND CATS IN BAGS.

Stephen Ireland’s WAG says Stephen’s relationship with the Irish FA is fine and he’d like to be an Irish international again. And stuff. // Kickette

 

GIFFAGE: #CLINTFACING WILL NOW OVERTAKING ‘BOLTING’ OR WHATEVER. PLEASE?

The Americans beat Jamaica last night in World Cup qualifying, but all anyone wants to talk about is Clint’s face. (gif credit SB Nation)

 

SOMETIMES I FEEL COMPLETELY ALBANIAN TOO. IT’S WEIRD BECAUSE I’M NOT ACTUALLY ALBANIAN.

Here’s something you probably shouldn’t admit on social media if you’re a player. // WAATP

 

JAMAICAN A FOOL OF YOURSELF WITH THE TERRIBLE PUNS, MON.

Raheem Sterling did not make his full England debut last night, but ahead of the game, there were plenty of people anxious to get the lad cap tied to England. // HITC

 

I’M THIS CLOSE TO CONCLUDING THAT EVERY GAME IS FIXED. DO SOMETHING, FIFA.

An international crime syndicate fixed a semipro Canadian Soccer League game, and it should give you the willies. // CBC.ca

 

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU: NEPOTISM ONLY WORKS IF YOUR NAME IS BRADLEY.

Cesena’s president hired his brother to coach the team. Guess how long that lasted. // The Footy Blog

 

I’M DOWN WITH THE WAYNE ROONEY CLONES, BUT ONLY IF EACH WEARS A DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLE.

What player, if cloned 10 times, would make for the best team? Basically, it’s “who is the world’s best all-around player?”. // Bleacher Report

 

WE WERE GOING TO CLONE SOMEONE ON THE KCKRS STAFF 10 TIMES, BUT THEN SOMEONE SAID ‘WHY?’

The quest to uncover the truth and give justice to the dead should never, ever stop. Rest assured that the story of what really happened at Hillsborough is important not just for the families of those who lost their lives, but as a means for a wound on the soul of English football to begin to heal. Follow KCKRS and like KCKRS.

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