QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.
PHOTO: BALLACK ENJOYS LIVER WITH CHIANTI AND FAVA BEANS.
Seriously, this is nightmare level stuff. Is he trying to haunt our dreams? (Reuters)
AGING PLAYBOY MODELS ARE AMONG THE SADDEST HUMAN BEINGS ON THE PLANT.
Sheffield Wednesday will not be sold to a former Playboy model, if you believe club chairman Milan Mandaric. More disturbing: her cleavage or those bags under her eyes? // Off the Post
OSVALDO ALONSO DOESN’T GIVE A S&*T.
Seattle’s own honey badger gets the viral video treatment. // Sounder at Heart
PHOTO: “L” IS FOR…LAMENTABLE CHOICE FOR PENALTY TAKER?
Ramires and David Luiz flash the international symbol for “loser”, probably not at John Terry. Really, it wasn’t about Terry at all, so stop thinking that. Seriously you guys. (Reuters)
…AND CHUCK DEEZY LOSES THE ROOM.
The news came and went quickly, but Charlie Davies’ lawsuit against the club and promoter that served the driver on the night of his terrible accident strikes at least one writer as the wrong way to go. // Yanks Are Coming
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.
Are Levante actual La Liga title contenders? Probably not. But someone thinks they – and other small clubs who find themselves in a similar position – should act like it. // The Other 87
MOUTH-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION, COMEDY FODDER SINCE TIME IMMEMORIAL.
Though this view of Jack Wilshere giving a dummy the breath of life isn’t quite “ha ha”, it’s more “ooooh.” // Kickette
PHOTO: SQUAD PLAYER IN REPOSE.
Aging and too often beset by injuries, Rio Ferdinand has been demoted. (Getty Images)
ANTONIO DI NATALE DOESN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF TO YOU.
There are exactly zero Italians on the 22-man Ballon d’Or shortlist, but if there should be one, it’s probably Antonio Di Natale, a man forced to answer constant questions about his ambition. // The Footy Blog
MLS began circulating a survey meant to gauge possible interest in a team in Baltimore. Two and two equal “holy crap, DC United might be moving.” // Beautiful Game America
I TRIED TO AVOID, I REALLY DID. OKAY, SO I COULD HAVE TRIED HARDER.
Things in football longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. Surprisingly, “crisis at Arsenal” is not on the list. // Bleacher Report
VIDEO: THEY SAY HE IS A LEGEND. #ROONEYCHINSTROKE.
The funniest thing you’ll see all day is Wayne Rooney’s acting in this very strange wine ad. The goal is struck by a streaking ball of fire and all he can do is stroke his chin contemplatively. // via CaughtOffside and everyone else
I COULD REALLY GO FOR A GLASS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
True fact: every member of the KCKRS staff is a better actor than Wayne Rooney, but we all pale in comparison to Ryan Giggs. That’s our level. Luckily, we don’t plan on filming any commercials any time soon, though that could change if you don’t follow KCKRS on Twitter, and like KCKRS on Facebook. Trust me when I say it’s important.