QWK KCKS: Three Heads, Better Than One

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: TRIPLE THE PASSION, TRIPLE THE FUN. AND SPITTLE.
A Thai supporter wears a piece of interesting headgear while cheering on his team against Singapore in the Southeast Asia Games. (AP Photo)

 

TIM TIM TIMMERY TIM TIM TAROO. WE HAVE TIM HOWARD AND HE SAYS…’CHECK OUT THE BODY ON THAT MO EDU.’
In-depth…ahem…interview with Tim Howard reveals that he’s learning how to Dougie and thinks Gooch gives good man hugs. // Kickette

 

DARKE SIDE, DARKE DAYS, DARKE CHOCOLATE, A SHOT IN THE DARKE…AND THAT’LL BE ENOUGH OF THAT.
The English voice for American soccer watches romcoms on the plane, has a screwed up body clock, and doesn’t get to watch much MLS. He’ll be on the mic for MLS Cup on Sunday. Ian Darke is clearly very good at his job, but the amount of fawning in this story is almost embarrassing. // LA Daily News

 

PACK UP THE POMP AND THE CIRCUMSTANCE. THIS ONE’S ALREADY DECIDED.
Speaking of MLS Cup, the people at EA Sports did what the people at EA Sports do when there’s a big sporting event: they ran a simulation of the match on their corresponding video game. // TSN

 

VIDEO: IN HELL, THE DEVIL MAKES YOU PLAY WITHOUT A GOALKEEPER AND YOU GIVE UP A HUNDRED GOALS.
This video is supposed to teach people English. I’d be amazed if it’s effective at that, but it’s certainly entrancing for some reason. The gestures and their timing is hilarious. And why are they having this conversation at a press conference? (YouTube)

 

BETTER STORY: ‘I HAD A PICTURE TAKEN WITH JAVIER MASCHERANO’, OR, ‘LEO MESSI TOOK THIS PHOTO OF ME AND JAVIER MASCHERANO’?
The best part of this photo is that at the exact moment it was taken, the body language reveals the emotions of everyone involved. Messi is unsure how to take the photo with the antiquated flip phone, the cabbie is unsure if he should touch Mascherano with the old “arm around the shoulders”, and Mascherano is grimacing because he probably doesn’t want to be touched by the cabbie. // Dirty Tackle

 

HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER BRAWLS ARE JUST LIKE OTHER HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS BRAWLS, BUT MORE SOCCERY. THEY’RE ALL DUMB.
A Massachusetts high school playoff game erupts into a giant melee for some reason. The referee’s red card is useless against them. // NESN

 

YOU CAN’T SPELL ‘SOMEWHAT DESERVING’ WITHOUT ‘DERO.’
Dwayne DeRosario is your 2011 MLS MVP after suiting up for three different teams and leading DC United to…not the playoffs. Let’s just make this “Most Outstanding Player”, shall we? // Major League Soccer Soccer

 

PHOTO: NEYMAR TAKES A SEAT.
Why is no one offering to help Neymar up? That’s just rude. (Reuters)

 

SPECULATING IN THE LICENSE PLATE MARKET IS TRICKY DAFT BUSINESS.
United fan bought “KUN 16″ license plate for god knows why, is now desperately trying to sell it because Kun didn’t go to United, he went to City. A might “DER” to you, sir. // Off the Post

 

SOCCER PLAYER DROPS SOCCER TO PLAY RUGBY, IS IMMEDIATELY GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE NATIONAL TEAM.
Former USWNTer Natasha Kai is playing rugby now, and was just named to the USA women’s 7′s squad going to Dubai for a tournament in early December. // ScrumQueens

 

DEAR NEWCASTLE FANS: BAD OWNERSHIP IS RELATIVE.
Chechen oligarch buys Swiss club, proceeds to dance around in his underwear on the pitch during games. Actually, he didn’t do that. He did a bunch of stuff much worse. // GlobalPost

 

TWEET: #BOMBARDBLATTER.
Now here’s an idea.

 

TRULY THE PEOPLE’S CLUB, OR EXPLOITATION OF LOYALTY?
1. FC Union Berlin, in a stadium the fans help renovate themselves, is selling shares in the ground to the fans. // When Saturday Comes

 

SURELY WITH 2,000 OF THEM YOU COULD DO A TOP 10? OR TOP 7 AT LEAST?
Chris Nee’s Top 5 England goals in honor of the Three Lions 2,000th international goal scored against Sweden on Tuesday. // The Stiles Council

 

HERE’S TO A WEEKEND BURSTING WITH SOCCER AND FOOTBALL AND FUSSBALL AND CALCIO…
From Saturday’s return to club football to Sunday’s MLS climax, this weekend should fill up your joy cup and let you wash some of the foul Blatter out of your mouth. Let’s hope anyway. We’re on Twitter, we’re on Facebook, we’re gone.

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