QWK KCKS: Zlataminate

Photo of author
Written By Chris Azzopardi

QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

 

PHOTO: THAT’S RIGHT, ZLATAN RUNS IN THE SAND IN HIS SOCKS. HE’S THE CHAMPION OF IT.

Seriously, look at Zlatan dominate the sand. There’s a word for this, and it’s “Zlataminate.” (BERTRAND GUAY/AFP/GettyImages)

 

THE RED BULLS FINALLY WISED UP AND EXILED RAFA MARQUEZ TO MEXICO…WHAT? HE’S JUST THERE FOR REHAB?

Rafa Marquez is rehabbing in Mexico. The injury in question is a calf strain. My apologies to your monitor, now that it’s covered in the coffee you just sprayed. // Empire of Soccer

 

PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENT OR JUDGMENT OF ANY KIND. POSSIBLY. NAH.

18 things Xavi does instead of kissing girls, from the “brilliant minds” of Surreal Football. // The FCF

 

OH, SO WE’RE INTERVIEWING JOCULAR BLOGGERS, NOW? WHEN DOES THE B-LIST GET SOME LOVE?

The godfather of football humor blogging sits down for an interview about his style and technique. It’s like Insider the Actor’s Studio, but for something stupid. // US Soccer Players

 

REUTERS/Eliseo Fernandez

PHOTO: HAVING ALREADY CONQUERED PLAYING ON HIS FEET, NEYMAR WILL NOW LEARN TO PLAY FROM HIS BACK.

Actually, he’s lying there stunned after missing a penalty. Badly. See link below for the terribleness.

 

RIGHT NOW, THERE ARE PEOPLE OBSESSED WITH THIS. TO THOSE PEOPLE I SAY ‘STOP IT.’

The Guardian’s Secret Footballer has a book out, and there’s a video teaser. Here’s my question: if there’s no intent to reveal his actual identity, how do we know that’s actually him in the video? // Off the Post

 

NEWSFLASH: FOOTBALLER DOES GOOD DEED, NATION STUNNED.

A hearty huzzah for Nottingham Forest’s Dexter Blackstock, who left tickets for a pair of Forest fans who left theirs at home. // The Press Association

 

REJECTED IDEAS INCLUDED KNITTING A QUILT AND BEDAZZLING A BELT IN HER HONOR.

Alex Morgan’s hometown really struggling with how to honor the Olympic gold medal soccer star. Keys to the city? A parade? I know, how about a scrapbook! // SGV Tribune

 

REUTERS/Toby Melville

PHOTO: VOLUNTARILY STRIKING THE BALL WITH YOUR HEAD IS KINDA STUPID WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

And yet, like Reading’s Alex Pearce, people will continue to do it over and over and over. Football!

 

FOOTBALL V. FOOTBALL V. FOOTBALL V. FOOTBALL FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. AMERICA.

Infographic time. Who’s got the more popular football on the social networks and such? Who cares, you say? Well I sure as hell don’t. // Mashable

 

IT’S LIKE MAD LIBS. CHOOSE FOOTBALLER A, ADD SUPER MODEL B, AND LET THE RUMORS FLY.

Dani Alves is dating Bar Refaeli. Maybe. Speculation is rampant or something. // Kickette

 

FOR ME, THIS WILL FOREVER BE KNOWN AS THE ‘MOSCOW TERRY.’

Neymar’s terrible penalty probably knocked a good 1,200 euros or so off his price tag. // Bleacher Report

 

WHENEVER I RUN IN THE SAND IN MY SOCKS, PEOPLE LOOK AT ME FUNNY. DID I SAY ‘IN MY SOCKS’? I MEANT ‘IN ONLY MY SOCKS.’

Wait, I don’t do that. Follow KCKRS and like KCKRS. ZLATAMINATE.

Leave a Comment