Ryan Babel Explains The Mysteries Of The Universe, Or Something

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Written By Chris Azzopardi

Why does a Dutch striker playing for a German club tweet in English? Why does he have the sense of humor of an old email chain letter joke? How did he get a third of a million followers? These, ladies and gentlemen, are the eternal questions surrounding Ryan Babel’s twitter account.

Netherlands national team member Ryan Babel, formerly of Ajax and Liverpool, now playing for Hoffenheim, has become pretty (in)famous for his twitter feed, more so than a number of better known or more talented players, and we were wondering exactly why. Well, I was reading tweets like these…

… when I realized something. Ryan Babel’s “funny” tweets generally fall into one of two categories. The first is “bad internet jokes/memes,” almost all of which I’ve seen somewhere else (and spelled correctly).

An example:

Ryan Babel is a twenty-five year old man who makes the salary of an in5ternational footballer. There is absolutely zero chance he has to ask his parents for anything he wants. This tweet reads like it was ripped directly from a “teen problems” twitter account, the kind that hinge on the logic “it has happened to me at some point, so therefore it must be interesting.”

Yeah, like that.

The second, rarer category Ryan Babel’s tweets fall under is “things that would sound a lot funnier if Rodney Dangerfield had said them.”

Some manage to be both:

And there you have it. The secret to Ryan Babel’s twitter “success” is bad jokes that somebody else wrote.

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